Currently Listening Transatlanticism By Death Cab for Cutie see related

so life has been pretty awesome lately.I've just been spending time with my friends and family.partying and enjoying being able to do what i want.i feel like myself now more than ever.although i will say i do miss my dear augustine boys.i'll see them soon though.

i started my g.e.d classes on monday at the tech college.it's kind of nice to have to be in class.it's a feeling i havn't had in awhile.it may suck while i'm there but at least i'm gaining from it.and at least i'm doing it while i'm 17 instead of when i'm 40 like some people in my classes.pathetic.

i've been seeing alot of people i havn't seen in forever.it's been awesome seeing all theese people i havn't seen since middle school and knowing that they really just arent that different.when we're around eachother we're all still best of friends.

taylor is a cool girl because anytime i talk about a movie that is one of my favorites,it's also one of hers.and i like good taste in movies,so there.

and scarfs are cool because they keep me warm in the snow.

Currently Listening The Mechanical Hand By Horse the Band see related

so according to a kid who commented on my last post.i'm fat so therefore i shouldn't wear girl jeans.

are you honestly that bored bro? i mean it's not like you're telling me something about my appearance that i dont allready know.so keep it coming.or you could just grow the fuck up.

on to something a little..well.not really any more pleasant.

i'm fully done with any relationships unless a girl gives me a reason to change my mind.which as of now looks like it could be awhile.i hardly trust anybody after all that shit i've dealt with.

but with that in mind i will say i do have some of the best friends i could ever ask for.i'd do anything for them and i know they'd do anything for me (including breaking that ohio kids knee's)we all need to hang out soon.if i havn't seen you in awhile you need to get ahold of me.i have lots of free time right now.

all the past shows have been amazing.the bunter ict show was nuts.almost 300 kids paid.plus countless bands being there.it was huge.

come to think of it every show since then has been great.it's nice to see a glimpse of the scene going back to how it used to be.unity.

it's official.spring break tour 06' is her name in lights and in your honor.it's going to be a blast.

i think i'm done for right now.

Currently Listening Living in the Moment By Across Five Aprils see related

whew! the drama is going away fast,and i couldn't be happier about that.i'm sure i'm probably speaking to soon though because if i dont have any in my own life.someone will drag me into thiers..

i got a new car finally.it's a 91 corolla,not the cutest car but it runs great and my mom even got me a cd player! which is crazy for me,i've never had one before.now i just need to name it.

i've had a blast at the shows the last few days.it's been good seeing all my friends and finally knowing that MOST of them really are there for me,and they aren't just full of shit.haste the day? amazing.horse the band? amazing.nodes? i think you're starting to get the pattern.

i love playing music for all you guys so much.i dont think i really have appreciated what i have in my two bands untill now.it brings me so much joy to know that the music i'm a part of can make people happy or even make them tap thier feet.so to my bro's in both bands,i love you.and i wouldn't give any of you up for you world.you're everything to me.

speaking of the bands.both of my bands(her name in lights and dear augustine) will be playing the first annual bunterict.com show!! this is truly something to attend.13 bands for 3 bucks,you cant beat that.all proceeds go to bunter itself (after paying the venue of course) it's at headway skatepark.6 p.m

if you want to help the scene in a way that will REALLY do something for it i suggest you be at this show.

i better see everyone tomorrow.

lets keep it drama free.(that's probably to much to ask)

Currently Listening Clarity By Jimmy Eat World see related

so..

i hope you two stay happy,and i hope it all works out.i'll support you as much as i can.but dont expect me to be there if things start falling apart.i think i've been a good enough friend towards you two for one lifetime.

and to that other girl..if you're reading this,i'm sorry things turned out the way they did for you.all i can say is i told you so,and i feel like a dick saying that but it's true.whenever you want to talk i'll be around..cause i know what it's like to be totally fucked.especially recently.i remember talking to you not to long ago saying "wow i'm glad all my drama is done with"

i guess i spoke too soon.

then again..you could have avoided all this drama,all you had to do was fucking listen to me.

i'm not a complete idiot people,i DO have good input occasionally.

and you're not a whore..you just made a mistake.and that's life.

i wonder how many times in my life someone will choose the wrong person for them.and how many times i'll have to just let it slide.i wonder how many times i'll have to be the person to say i told you so.i wonder when things will get better...

maybee they never will.you all take advantage of how nice i am,when i dont have the guts to tell you what i really think.congrats to any of you who have me as a friend.i'm the best relationship tool in your arsenal..and i have no doubt you'll all use me at some point.

i'm not super religious.and i'm sorry to those of you who are if this offends.but if god gives a flying fuck about me.one of his own creations,why cant i just have one good day? why cant something just go right? why cant i have one of the girls that fits my personality but wont stab me in the back whenever a more lean body comes along?

maybee you just have some maturing to do.maybee you'll realize the desicion you should have made.you can still make it.but even if you do.it'll be hard for me,wondering if you'd give a shit if he wouldn't have been with the other girl instead.

i guess i'll allways be the last pick.

maybee i should just learn to live with that.

if i have two more bad days in a row i'm going to find the sharpest object in my house and shove it directly to my heart.dont worry.it's dead anyways.

then again.everything happens for a reason.maybee he ran to her because that's how it's supposed to be.i know both girls will learn a lesson in the end.i just hope it's the right lesson,and not something that will ruin them.

i'm wishing you would have taken me to that party with you.i dont want you doing anything stupid.

i guess theres nothing i can do but sit back and watch the show....my life would be a fucking GREAT movie..

Currently Listening Art Damage By Fear Before the March of Flames see related

so maybee i'm a baby,maybee i'm too emotional,maybee you're right,maybee you're not.but i dont really think you'd ever notice it if you were.i guess there's nothing else to do but give up.cause in this life i'll allways be in the back of the line.

what is it that people dont like about me? i'd honestly like to know.am i rude?do i bum people out? do i smell bad? what the fuck is it because i really want to know why i'm never good enough.there has to be something everyone is seeing that i'm not.

but when i really sit here and think...maybee i'm just really worthless.maybee it's not just people opinions of me that make theese things happen.maybee it's just me in general.the way i look,the way i talk,down to my sense of humor.maybee i just suck...it's starting to look like an option

they'll allways pick him over me.allways...but i can never be mad..because i love him.fuck.

why cant i just be like you bro.we're so similar yet nobody seems to notice.maybee if i lost 30 pounds she would notice.maybee that would change things.although i know she's not that shallow.she's amazing.and that's what sucks.

whenever i see you smile it makes me want to smile.too bad i cant be the one to make you smile.all i cause is problems.but he never would.he's perfect.and i'm so far from it.i think now i can understand why you feel the way you do.i have so little going for me.so little to actually show for my life.so little happiness.

they'll allways pick him over me.allways...but i can never be mad..because i love him.fuck.

so i guess i'll just give up.let someone else make you happy.because that's all i want for you.whether the outcome keeps me happy in return or not.obviously in this situation the outcome wont make me happy.so do want you want.i wont mention the word us again in your presence.just let it fade away like the thoughts i'll have to turn to alcohol to numb out

i still love you,i dont see that going away.but i guess i dont have to be with you to love you.

they'll allways pick him over me.allways...but i can never be mad..because i love him.

.fuck.